Real Life Problems: Resting Bitch Face

So I suffer from a problem. It’s something I’ve recently tried to work on in an effort of self-improvement, frankly, to no avail. I have a resting bitch face.

I can’t pinpoint when this issue arose, but my bitch face has been a part of my persona for as long as I can remember. After being engaged in conversation I’m a sheer delight, but my chronically bitchy face is apparently a hurdle that must be overcome for those outside of my circle of friends. I’m sorry that I’m giving you a subconscious dirty look, that’s just projection from my resting bitch face. There’s no doubt that I imprinted on my mother, queen of the bitchy raised eyebrow and thinly veiled look of disgust. Winning family character traits, no?

Mind you I affirm that I’m being somewhat facetious, but a naturally bitchy face can be inconvenient. For one, my friends will sometimes think that I’m judging them when I’m simply being ambivalent. Silly betches, I’m not always judging your life decisions. Also I can be unapproachable when I go out. Don’t get me wrong, I never really think going to club is a good place to meet someone sustainably, so maybe my expression is actually a conscious look of disgust.

Nance likens the unapproachable factor to having an open versus closed aura. She’s urges me to be more open in order to beckon people forward rather than causing them to shrink away in intimidation.  Consequently, I’ve tried to smile more, physically flexing my bitchy face into a smile. It may sound ridiculous but smiling more to strangers takes effort on my part.

I’d like to go on the record and say that I’ve discussed this phenomenon long before the Youtube clip below went viral.  I think it’s actually a problem that a lot of high-maintenance gay guys (Yes, I’ll admit I fall into that category) and New Yorkers in general suffer from. And being introspective as I am, I think a resting bitch face is a type of a defense mechanism. It’s easier to come off bitchy than to approach someone new. We all fear rejection, no? The constant bitchy face keeps us inside a bubble, a fabulous one at that, but a bubble all the same.

Nance often talks about the perfect idea of meeting Mr. Right when you least expect it, during a routine activity, in a place that can seem run-of-the-mill in the grand scheme of things. Clearly I need to work to make a change if I want that to happen. For the moment I’m making baby steps, but assessing my problem is the first step to recovery… or at least self-understanding?  😉


One thought on “Real Life Problems: Resting Bitch Face

  1. The Cougar says:

    Cub – I am giving you the challenge to hug one random person this week!

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