From Awakening to Clarity

2013: It’s not what I envisioned, it’s what I needed.

And with a final brushstroke 2013 ends to make way for a new year. I always take the final days of the year to mull over what has transgressed in last 12 months: My shortcomings, drama, success, and countless beautiful memories.

For me, 2013 was a year of Awakening, starting in a tumult and ending in an exhausted repose. I was pushed into garbage, almost died from anaphylaxis, planned a very New England wedding, traveled to the mythical land of Minnesota, all the while being courted in the East Village. I tell my friends that although life is not perfect, we can’t say that we’re boring. And boring, 2013 was not.

Nancy always says that we get the things in life that we need. As I never like to settle and strive to be rational in life, I’m not sure if I subscribe to this wisdom completely. That being said though, I really think I got what I needed in the last year, man-wise, validating that single has always been a beautiful color on me.  For the first time in a long time my new year’s resolution does not factor men into the equation. Nothing about love. Nothing about finding a BF to snuggle with. A little teaser of how 2013 shaped me and shook me up, propelling me to start focusing on things within my control.

Because isn’t that the beautiful and somewhat infuriating thing about life: When we’re not focused on finding love, that’s when we are the most confident, the most alluring, and the most attractive to others. Without fixating on it, we seem to find it. By mastering another aspect of our lives, we somehow become more ready to find someone to share our hard-earned successes with.   It’s not about being complacent, but a new wind is in my sails driving me to follow other ambitions for the moment… that is other than frolicking.  Advice to start the new year from Nance and Brian? Focus on a conquest you can control in the moment for little successes are what drive everyday happiness.

For now I have my friends and this vibrant city, my saving grace that enables a life fulfilled. As the year of awakening draws to a close I hope that 2014 will become a year of Clarity. I’m focusing on spring cleaning this year. Prioritizing friends who share my life ambitions and goals, pushing aside the excess extravagance and really honing in on the hard questions I’ve put on the back burner for too long. I am content spending my days with Nance in our unlikely but perfect situation, trying never to forget that in most of the ways we live the life enchanted.

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