Tinder Diaries Part 2: Trolls & Mythical Man Creatures

Tinder

Mythical man creature?
Photo cred: http://www.louiseoneillauthor.com/category/tinder/

SO at this point I’ve had my Tinder for about a year. Thanks to Cameron I was ahead of the curve on getting into my Tinder groove. Thankfully so. (Disclaimer: The next few paragraphs will accentuate the fact that I am a bitch- not betch).

Unfortunately it seems as though Tinder has devolved. Once an app for “pretty people”, trolls abound on Tinder these days. I mean come on. How is it that app completely based on whether or not you like someone through their 3-6 profile pictures has become a stronghold for trolls!? I remember a year ago when I would go on Tinder and seriously every other man would be HOT. Not cute, H-O-T.

These days, it’s more like finding a needle in a haystack of trolls. I get that trolls need to find love too but can’t you go on OK Cupid or Plenty of Fish? It’s just rude. Good matches are hard to find these days because I never seem to swipe right in a sea of trolls.  My betches agree.

However I must point out a dichotomy that exists. Yes trolls abound but also what I like to call “mythical man creatures” call Tinder their home.  (What is this post turning into) No but really, amidst the trolls there are some men that frankly do not seem real. I’ve dated 2 (currently seeing 1) and the betches have also found men who make you stop and think, Why the hell are YOU on Tinder?

For instance, Mythical man creature 1: Australian, older man, successful, traveler, quasi Gay-celebrity. He swept me off my feet when he said Ello’ Mate (Well he didn’t really say that). In any event he whisked me to parties where Liv Tyler casually strolled in, I rubbed shoulders with gay porn stars (ew, I didn’t actually touch them) and was advised not to talk to Allan Cumming because he was “so annoying”. And I met you by swiping right on an app?

Mythical man creature 2 – Another older man (these are not silver foxes just young thirties to clarify), food editor for a magazine AKA my dream job, the most complimentary man I’ve ever dated. He cooked me a 4-course meal for valentine’s day including oysters, trout roe, and sable fish to name a few. I mean why are you single

OK one more – Mythical man creature 3– One of my lovely betches found this mythical creature who is surely the most mysterious of all three. Venture capitalist who flies to Florida every weekend for Equestrian competitions (Dressage included), Unreal apartment, dinners at Gramercy tavern (2nd date)… oh and linked to Russian royalty. OK Tinder…

Yet, I have a theory, for these mythical man creatures. I don’t think they have hidden scary flaws, but I think they subscribe the same logic that I do. Tinder requires low investment, but can yield high return. It takes minutes to create a profile, sync with your Fbook and pick your most flattering default pictures before anyone can be on the prowl. Why not take a chance? The whole app tries to convey a persona of being a game. The fact that people can be flippant about it, investing minimal stock, draws a certain crowd to the app that would never dabble in online dating in the first place.  Or at least it used to before the trolls caught wind. The future of Tinder is sadly TBD.

I for one will continue my Tinder game, sifting through trolls, but knowing that finding a new mythical creature is always a tangible possibility in a city teeming with prospects.

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