Category Archives: Betch Spotlight

IMG_2922As the start of another New York City Summer fans out it sun-kissed feathers, Ivanka bids farewell to our glittering city for a new position in LA. How can Faye and I fill our bougie void (as we sullenly asked ourselves over a farewell picnic)? What if I want to get dinner at the latest French resto and reminisce about Paris with my favorite foodie? We’ll always be uptown betches at heart, but you’re not actually going to be uptown? Clearly I’m confused. And in denial.

However sad I am over the fact that our love affair will now need to be long distance, all I can think about is the exciting nature of her move. Being that I surround myself with overachievers and power betches, it’s no shock that great opportunities are ripe to entice friends away from their NYC trajectories. I believe our generation lives in a dynamic time full of prospects and high-reward risks; when being in the right place at the right time may mean making the decision to move across the country, or perhaps further across the globe.

Though as much as the bold embrace change, change is scary. Will we grow in a different direction from those we’ve already established our lives with? I think often, we’re afraid of what change will bring, and how as a result, we ourselves will too evolve.

But can’t that be the wonderful aspect of uprooting ourselves? I’ve said it before but you grow the most when you’re off-balance. In these key periods in life, we’re compelled to be assertive and naturally are introspective on what we want to achieve and who we are. Also, I think that we can retain our meaningful ties if we commit to doing so. Yes we may not grow in the same place or a the same pace as others, but if we keep growing and move toward a similar goal, we can still meet and continue to connect between the parallel paths we pursue.

Some may balk at the instability of making a radical change to start afresh and rather choose to be safe. But isn’t it more exciting to commit to being dynamic and taking a chance? I mean don’t get CRAY and run away blindly into the abyss, but if the right opportunity presents itself, take that leap of faith.

So as Ivanka roots herself in LA’s eternally sun-soaked hills, she inspires me to push myself further in our NYC playground. Time will tell whether NYC is back in her cards, but one can never tell the future. Perhaps when she comes back I’ll have moved on. All I know is that our bougie-Paris-stained ties run deep and we surely will continue to achieve success even if now we’re making bi-coastal strides. I’ll hold down the fort in Manhattan for now lover.

Down a Betch: Ivanka Makes Power Moves

Betch Spotlight: Faye



Time for another Betch Spotlight. It’s been a while since a betch has graced these pages but it’s it time for Faye to get her due.

Faye. Effortless fashionista sporting Van Cleef as easily as she wears her affable and understated elegance. Ivy-league grad at home in NYC as the current pit stop for this jet setting bonne vivante.

We met at the frattiest happy-hour this side of college, and it was bougie love within the first hour of meeting. After moving to the city, Faye soon became a facet of C&C life, fitting in seamlessly amidst our purported extravagance. A friend through Ivanka, the three of us united comprise a virtual betchy trifecta (Stay tuned for our upcoming voyage… Are you ready Morocco?

She possesses an undeniable class, an attribute I can fully appreciate. Catch her having high tea at the St. Regis on weekends, possibly chatting up young savants. However don’t be fooled, she can transform as the night grows late, shedding inhibition with the start of dance floor (a few high fluted cocktails later of course). Because let’s make this clear: there is a large difference between effortless class blended with the ability to let loose as compared to high-society stuffiness. Schooled and brought up across Australia, British Columbia, Seattle, and Seoul, this betch comprises an East meets Pacific Northwest meets Down-under sensibility. How much more intrigue can you get out of a blend like that?

Faye and I share guiding man principles in common. You see, our core value is never to settle for less than what we know we deserve. I’ll take your criticism. It’s a mentality that comes with being alone at times. But hey, as I always tell Faye, wouldn’t you rather be alone at our age, then waste time on someone who’s just meh? I’m not holding out for a hero, but in the height of vivaciousness, with an “I-am-a-10” mentality, we can afford to be picky. This logic is Nance-endorsed so it’s essentially the bible. Until then Faye will await for her entrepreneur 30-something, dressed in a perfectly pressed suit who will take whisk her off to Perse for a Saturday night date. I fully affirm this uncompromising level of standard.

Alas it’s all merit for me to raise my glass to chère Faye. With you I know there will always be lavish pow-wows, laughter, and discerning taste. To life’s next great adventure with you because surely there are bound to be many memories together to fill the pages of this time of brilliant Manhattan indulgence.

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Betch Spotlight: Elle

So by now you’ve seen that all the betches that color my life assemble quite the crew.  But I would be remiss without introducing you to my fellow co-founder of the over-achiever club: physician-in-the making, 24/7 bombshell, Elle.

Raised by foreign parents with 2 distinct cultures, Elle developed that innate drive to be the best, so indicative of immigrant parents (I of course can relate). Currently at the top of her class in Med school, previously we both breezed through college Biology courses together. After acing our tests, that other betches would cry over, we would frolic around together, never really understanding the allure of already fattening and balding frat brahs. In short we assert that are overachievers in every way: our bodies, our grades, our expectation of men… etc.

But what’s more – Elle is the ultimate catch. Clearly she possesses brains but she also is strikingly beautiful. She’s the girl next door with bombshell in her blood. You may say too much, I say I’m just doing Elle justice. I always think to myself, I can’t wait to see her dazzle whatever hospital she ends up working at. If you’ve ever wondered if doctors really look like those out of Grey’s Anatomy, I can attest Elle would put Izzie Stevens out of business.

Now I’ve mentioned my mother briefly before, but Elle is the only betch to ever receive my mother’s complete approval. Exotic beauty, ambition and polished yet complimentary manners, topped off with the promise of one day becoming a doctor… there’s no way my mother couldn’t secretly scheme to have us married (no comment).

As one of my closest confidantes, Elle always gives me unabashed advice. To be honest, there is no reason why I should not listen. She leads by example, playing her cards with men perfectly; strategically but not callously. I mean multiple men have whisked her off to European getaways and her men are the only ones of my friends that I ever fully approve. Clearly I have a lot learn to master that level of man-excellence.

At the end of the day, more that anyone else, Elle inspires me to achieve more. She often urges me to fulfill my potential, as we are very similar in our driving factors and thought processes. Her spot checks make me pensive on what I need in life and her example propels me to reach higher and remember that we’re cut from a similar cloth. For doesn’t that signal the best sort of friend; the one who drives us to do more by their own shimmering example? 

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Betch Spotlight: Blake

Let’s talk about a different breed of betch.

Blake is a dichotomy. Frat boy allstar. Asian American 6-packed stud. But also the silliest betch I know.

BlakeWe went to college together but while I rolled my eyes at the thought of joining a frat, Blake fully embraced the idea. He’s not disingenuous, he’s multi-faceted.  It’s quite intriguing for me to see how close he is with his frat brahs. Surely a testament that gay is not a one-size-fits-all connotation.

The silly betch side? Blake loves love, second only to loving a hot man. I must lack his sexual libido because he is always on. While I frolic around, blithely unaware of the men around me, Blake is seemingly always on the prowl. He’s a master at eye-fucking. In this way he represents the quintessential gay. However, his dramatic, school girl obsessing makes me laugh as it’s both endearing and so out of touch from his masculine exterior.  The juxtaposition is notable. To me he evokes teddy bear with too many feelings. Emotional, gay teddy bear?

Blake is one of my only gay friends (a personal life problem – possibly a musing for another post). We work because we both can assess that the other is attractive yet arrive at the same conclusion that we have different types and embody distinctly different gays. We markedly diverge on how we interact with men. He has pushed me to loosen up and I have pushed him to reign in the crazy, urging him to enjoy being single.

He blows up my phone inducing me to laugh out loud at work due to his antics, boy-pining or flat-out bitching. My favorite texts are his late night whiny gems saying only Briannnnn. I can envisage the drunken, sex-crazed angst so clearly. Regardless, as Ivanka says, he’s good people, thus why he’s an established facet of my life. Bitchy to the max, driven to succeed, and assuredly a good friend. Pretty much a criteria to fill the betch pages of my life.

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Betch Spotlight: Naisha

I’ve always seen Naisha as a modern power betch in the making. Fiercely independent, she firmly has her eye on the prize of what she wants out of her career and life.  Working as woman in finance, I can clearly envision her as a rogue betch at 30 upstaging all of the A-hole, frat boy financiers. As one of my most intelligent friends, she has aspirations to have a private jet by 40. Lofty ambitions yes, but I wouldn’t count this betch out.

NaishaBorn abroad in Mumbai, her exotic looks and long legs have made her and Éva a power couple on meatpacking nights out on the town (That actually is her modeling to the right). She’s not a man-eater but she likes to play hard-ball with man conquests. Not all of them can keep up, but she’s not looking for love so she takes risks and worst case scenario? She hairflips and moves on.

In the night she can transform. Naisha can drink you under the table albeit she may not be the most graceful by 4 AM. There have been too many WTF moments with Naisha to recount but she’s continued to add some of the most vibrant hues to my already colorful life.

An example? While celebrating my birthday month, we decided to frequent Beauty & Essex.  We traversed the crowded venue, went up the marble staircase to get a drink upstairs. After some stupid betch knocked my $17 drink out of my hand, I decided I was over B&E and we decided to move on for the night. On our descent to leave, Naisha slipped, her stillettos flew into the air and she rolled down the marble staircase in quite a dramatic and seemingly painful fashion. While everyone on the staircase froze in shock, Naisha picked herself up without even a cry of pain and urged us to go on to the next bar. Apparently a lot of legends fill the pages of my life, no?

But with drunken stories aside, she is a trusted confidante and an assuredly life-long friend. She lives her life with no regrets, and her calm demeanor can always sift pass what I’m saying and to uncover what I’m actually thinking. Her college boyfriend ended in a long, drawn-out break-up and now she lives self-sufficiently, devoted to advancing her career, knowing full-well that she will find a man, on her terms, when she is looking for love. Naisha and I share this view on life to the T. She just seems to live it with fewer hiccups than me. Betch on, ya crazy betch.

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Betch Spotlight: Ivanka

Check out more beautiful pictures of the Beautiful Ballerina Project here:

Check out more beautiful pictures of the Beautiful Ballerina Project here:

Ivanka is my exotic Russian ballerina.

Ok, she’s not actually Russian but she perfectly channels the refined poise that comes with “Ivanka”. Not to mention that her tall, graceful form lent perfectly to the many years she practiced classical ballet. (Note: this pic is not of Ivanka, but evokes her silhoutte and commanding presence) Ivanka towers over men and stops them in her tracks with her statuesque features. She’s the girl who has the confidence to always wear stillettos, owning her height effortlessly. When Ivanka is on my arm, betches better be aware, we make quite the striking power couple.

She is a Sacramento socialite. Raised on the west coast but schooled in New York City, she has the best of both coasts. Yet her style is a cross between Paris and Martha’s Vineyard. Raised in a family that loved culture and travel, this American girl surely maintains a penchant for adventure and worldly taste. She knows how to be perfectly proper, long ago mastering a poker face, masking judgment behind a smile I know so well.

Yet don’t be fooled by her good taste and avid support of propriety. There are two sides to this betch. Crazy Ivanka often comes out, and I assure you that there are few personalities that are equally as entertaining. If she’s hungry, for godsake give her a sandwich because otherwise who knows what may happen. On late nights after a few drinks, she can RAGE. She loves her EDM but watch out, her Xena-esque cry can scare small children. Crazy Ivanka also has a softer side, channeling a blushing 5-year old betch when she likes a guy worth her time. Of course the unwitting men have no idea, because she rarely breaks her poise and self-assured countenance. She’s multi-faceted, revealing a different side when she decides it’s time for you to be surprised.

Of all the betches, Ivanka  best shares my pre-maturely attained bougie standards. We joke that we’re already 40 year-old power ice queens at heart. We bonded over foie gras and escargot and celebrate our mutual foodie love with extravagant, secret dates together (who needs savings right?). We frequent the Plaza for tea, only the F. Scott Fitzgerald option obviously. We’re admitted wine snobs (Seulment Bordeux, Bourgogne, or Sancerre s’il vous plait) and share the belief that Paris is the greatest city in the world; the city where we met and fell in love.

Most importantly, Ivanka is my ultimate confidante.  We go to each other when we need clear, unaffected advice. We both have had our fair share of silly betch moments this year but I’m glad she’s been close at hand to bitch slap me, ever so composedly. She is smart, ambitious, and as a day job works at one of the city’s most prominent finance firms. Do see a trend? The betches of my life master not only looks, the fierce factor, and the night, but also excel in intelligence, drive, and success.

I’m not sure what I would do without Ivanka. Probably laugh out loud less at work from her crazy text messages, assuredly spend less money on extravagance, but definitely make more questionable life decisions without her centering force in my life. Thankfully she lives just down the 1 and a catch-up session is only 10 minutes away. Betch on my love.

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Betch Spotlight: Cameron

Next up to bat: Cameron.

Born and bred in this shimmering city, Cameron is an established uptown girl. An effortless conversationalist, Cameron is the epitome of well-connected. Teen vogue model in a past life, daughter of actors, Cam lives one of those somewhat mythical NYC upbringings.

Cam has always been to me that natural, American beauty. Despite being a child in this extravagant city, she always impressed me by her unaffected style, preferring Frye boots to stilettos any day of the week. She’d rather travel than buy a bag at B.G. and her down-to-earth nature and established M.O. continues to set her apart working in the fashion industry.

Being witty is a life mandate for Cam. She has mastered the art of the witty, seductive text message response. Keeping men on their toes, her words are always on point. She never has any mal-intent, her exs were narcissistic and exhausting, and she’s an advocate of consummating the friendship.

Of all my betches, Cam loves love the most. She is boy-crazy. It’s not that she needs a man, in fact, even when dating someone she is NOT the girl to get so absorbed in her man where she loses all time for her friends. Quite the opposite actually.  But one of her goals is to find a guy worth her time. Come on men, really, what is there not to love?

We really are similar in certain ways. We are the connectors among our friends; The two that make the plans and often have our weekends booked weeks in advance just to ensure that we capitalize on our time off. I mean I am surely the opposite of “loving love” but  maybe she rubs off on my ice queen heart. The verdict is still out.

If there was one person who would share my life as a sitcom it would be Cameron. She’s introduced me to some of my best friends, lived alongside me in Paris, and without her I never would have met Nance or be writing this homage.  Living down the hall from us, sometimes it feels like a nouveau version of Will&Grace – coming over on a Sunday night sharing stories of the weekend, hashing out life plans, planning our next international vacation together, getting tag-team life advice from Nance and I. She may be a silly betch, but I can’t imagine going it without her.

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Betch Spotlight: Éva

I’ve mentioned that my friends color the pages of my life but some background is needed before integrating them into the musings of my life. So First let me introduce Éva. It’s fitting to start here because I am certain that she is one-of-a-kind.

Born in Asia, raised as a teenager in New York City, Éva attended the liberal arts college where I met her. Her native culture combined with a big city accent creates an undeniable unique persona.  She’s the tall Asian bombshell that simultaneously embodies a black girl attitude. She’s a staunch advocate of EDM and the swankiest NYC clubs where she greets the bouncer before jumping the line. But don’t be fooled, by day she works as a consultant; by no means does she lack ambition or brains.

I think a fitting adjective would be unbridled. Éva is passionate in every way of her life: Relationships, Hobbies, Working out. Her angry “death face” most likely makes children quiver, and I would not want to be on the end of one of her rampages when an NYC man projects douchebaggery her way. She’s fearless. She has traveled across the world by herself, staying in hostels and making friends off the cuff from Argentina to Laos. I’ve always been slightly in awe of her ability to march to beat of her own drum and own who she is so effortlessly.

Fiercely independent, she is still on the hunt for a man. She’s over American men and is currently checking off countries in Europe.  To be frank, Éva loves sex. Dressed in an oversized men’s sweater, she once met me for coffee after having sex for 7 straight hours; stopping only to make her man eggs to refuel his tank in order to continue the dirty. And you thought you had stamina? Kinky is not too bold. Aggressive is fitting. Though like me, at her core she is a monogamist. Alas fall’s on its way and clubbing will soon lose its allure. Men, stand in line, Éva’s looking for a winter romance.

I love Éva because of what she adds to my life. I’ve mentioned before that I am a perpetual rationalist. However, sometimes this rationalist needs an occasional reality check. Her advice is biting, hard-hitting, and not for the faint-of-heart. But her advice is just what I need sometimes to set me straight. In a dramatic year, she’s the one who’s most forcibly said, “You’re being a stupid betch, get it together”. I guess every sassy gay needs a source of sassy advice too.

In short, Éva is a torrent, a maverick, and the craziest betch you’ll probably ever meet. All I have to say is betch on. You entertain, help bring me back to my resting zen state, and once-in-a-while cause me to sit dumbfounded at the sheer WTF-factor of your life stories. Stay tuned, I can assure you that Éva anecdotes don’t disappoint.